Podcast - Episode 8: The Power of "No": Setting boundaries and prioritizing your time

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Episode Transcript:

The Power of "No": Setting boundaries and prioritizing your time

Lance Pendleton: Coming up on this episode of consumed, we're going to talk about the power of the word no, how to set healthy client expectations, and most importantly, can you actually set expectations that become valuable to the client rather than fearful things? This is consumed the podcast for real estate agents who are tired of hearing the same old industry stuff and want to experience something completely different. Another opportunity right off the bat, Lucy, to dive into one of my favorite topics. Uh, Lucy, did you know that the word no is a complete sentence when you put a period at the end of it? Lucy Edwards: I didn't know, but I guess you are right. No. Period. Lance Pendleton: So we're going to be talking about no. And how do we, as agents, find the ability to say no and create better balance in our lives? So I want to start right off the bat by addressing sort of like a primary thought that I had, which is that I think this is one of the single most important things in an agent's business. And if you're in the top 10% of agents that are doing 90% of the volume in the US right now, this is the thing for the next year that you need to be focused on more so than anything else, because there's a an epidemic. I would say this epidemic that exists in real estate is one of which agents believe that in order to maintain success, they must be saying yes to everything. They have to be attending everything. They have to be saying yes to everything. They have to be saying yes to whatever the client wants and needs, or they have to be saying yes to, uh, misaligned, uh, client expectations. They have to say yes to everything. Otherwise it's all going to fall apart. Is that true, Lucy? Lucy Edwards: Yes. And I just wanted to straight up disagree. Lance Pendleton: So, yes, it's true that they have to say yes to everything. Lucy Edwards: That they have to say. Yes. And I just want to, um, pick on one of the notes that you just mentioned, the expectations you have to leverage the expectations. If you if you are going to put in your Google page that you are available from 7:00 in the morning to 9:00 at night, then you better pick up your phone. So maybe if you were to, as an agent to, uh, to leverage the expectations by putting down that you are available from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.. I mean, if you want to pick someone up at 7 or 8, that is up to you, but at least you are building the expectation. I think that is very, very important. And also you have to think about your personal life. Uh, some of my agents and my clients, my, um, my friends, they don't pick up, they don't work after sunrise on Friday, they take Saturday off. And in the beginning of my real estate career, I was astonished. How can you take Saturday off? That's when all the clients really need you. And the answer was, listen, I have a choice and that is my choice. And if someone wants to work with me and want to, uh, receive the best service ever, they just have to wait till either Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning and I'll take care of them. I think it is important to leverage the expectation. Lance Pendleton: So we're going to we're going to talk about expectations a little bit here. But I want to start off by identifying a couple of things right off the bat. Because the first thing that we need to address is I don't rarely, I should say rarely do I ever see an agent, a successful agent who has rules, boundaries and limitations set with a potential client right up front. I almost rarely ever see it. Lucy Edwards: I and I agree with you and yes, I agree with you. Lance Pendleton: And so let's explore that for a second. The first thing we need to learn and understand about learning how to say no is really understanding that there's rules, boundaries, and limitations that need to be set in and around the relationship. So what, Lucy, in your opinion, what are some of those rules, boundaries and limitations that should be set? Lucy Edwards: First of all, exactly the time. When are you available? When are you? When are you picking up the phone? When can you meet? When you cannot meet? I think when when the agent is setting up the very first appointment and they are doing. I don't like that word listing presentation, but when they are doing, when they are presenting themselves, how they're going to represent the buyer or the seller, that is that should be from the start discussed how they're going to work together. So I think that is important. Lance Pendleton: So what are the the rules, boundaries and limitations that you think that an agent should be setting? Okay. So when you pick up the phone okay. When you might be available, what are other rules boundaries and limitations. Lucy Edwards: Limitations? Um, I think I think that's when you pick up the phone when you are available. I think those are the most important ones as far as limitations are concerned. Um, and then beyond. Lance Pendleton: That, anything else is fair game. Lucy Edwards: I think so. Lance Pendleton: Okay. So you're willing to go prior to an open house and pick up dog poop on their lawn? Um, yeah. Okay. And you're willing to make beds for them? Lucy Edwards: Uh, help. Lance Pendleton: Make help. Make beds for them. Okay. And you're willing to, um, reorganize. Like if there was dishes left in the sink, like, put them all in the dishwasher and, like, before something. Right. Help, help! Okay. So basically, you just said you're the help. Lucy Edwards: Well, I would say that agent should. First of all, agents should show up, for example, before the open house or before the photoshoot. Ahead of time and work with the seller on how to prepare the house. I don't think they should be washing dishes. I don't think they should be making beds. Lance Pendleton: But you just said you'd do that. Lucy Edwards: But I think they should guide and assist. Maybe move some furniture around, maybe, uh, prepare, uh, maybe bring some pillows and some photos and whatever pictures for the wall. I do think that's that's okay. Right. Lance Pendleton: That wasn't that wasn't my question, though. Yeah. Lucy Edwards: Your question was about making the bed. I was thinking, help make the bed by advising that this bedspread doesn't. Lance Pendleton: But they didn't work. No no no no no no no no. You just talked about decorating tips. You transferred very quickly into decorating tips. My question was, if there's poop in the yard, should you be pooping the yard prior to a showing? Should you be making the beds? Should you be helping put dishes away? Lucy Edwards: Well, some things I yeah, some things I agree that the agent should be doing and the poop doesn't bother me. Probably washing the dishes and making somebody else's bed. Right. That is not ethical. Uh, that should be just the guidance. That's it. Lance Pendleton: Okay, so. Lucy Edwards: You don't you don't want to pick up the poop? Lance Pendleton: No, that's not it's not a question that I don't want to. It's a question of does that signify who we are and the value of what we do? Lucy Edwards: Of course, the seller. And that's again maybe building the expectation. The seller should understand that for the open house, the house should be ready and that they should spend the time and prepare the house for the, uh, for for the showing. Lance Pendleton: Okay. So why isn't there then? You making the recommendation? And here's a checklist of things that need to be done prior to that. And if they're not done well, it is what it is. Lucy Edwards: No, the checklist is a must. I agree with you. And we even like we provide the checklist to every agent and every photographer just for them to share it with the seller so the seller is aware and also so there are no surprises. Again, you know, leveraging the expectations the seller should understand besides the washing dishes, that the house should be ready and prepared. Lance Pendleton: And so you're using a checklist to help somebody understand to set rules, boundaries and limitations upfront. Front. Am I hearing that correctly? Lucy Edwards: Well, I guess you got this out of me. Lance Pendleton: Okay. Yes. Good. So now that we just had a very long winded, circumvented way to get to the idea that rules, boundaries, and limitations happen when you set the expectation up front early and often. That creates the healthiest relationships in any type of relationship. Right? But what I want to point out is there's one thing that I disagree with you on. I think anytime that an agent behaves like the help, you are immediately devaluing the role that we do. Because I can tell you right now, my attorney does not come pick out outfits for me to wear at court when I have to make a court appearance, nor does he or she show up and help me actually clean up the bathroom a little bit before my, you know, upcoming deposition or something, right? Like that doesn't happen. So why all of a sudden, in the world of real estate, that if we hold ourselves to a standard, that is, that we are professionals in a business, why does it mean then that I need to be showing up, picking up poop, and helping you make your bed? That doesn't make any sense, because literally what I've just said to you is the equivalent of what I'm here for is to be the help I am. Lucy Edwards: I totally get your point. However, the way I look at the agent and the seller in this case, because we're talking about preparing the house for showing or whatever, um, in this case, the guidance that the seller receives from the agent, and it is an agent's interest to have the house prepared properly, that it looks right, that it's not messy, that whoever is coming to look at the house, they are not focusing on baby pictures, but they focus on how they're going to decorate their house. So I do think the guidance is needed. I don't look at it as a negative. Lance Pendleton: But you gave the guidance. You gave them something that they knew should be done. They you've told them this is what needs to be done and they didn't do it. So now what? Lucy Edwards: It is in my interest also that the house looks right. I want to sell that house. Lance Pendleton: You're responsible for selling the house. Lucy Edwards: I'm responsible for doing everything in my power to sell the house at the best price and as fast as possible, and to make sure that the transaction is smooth and the and the. And my client is happy. And if they don't understand the importance of cleaning the kitchen before the showing, I have to guide them over and over until it gets to their head. Lance Pendleton: Okay, but we're not responsible for selling houses. I don't sell houses. Lucy Edwards: Well, the agent is responsible for a smooth transaction to sell the property. Right. So they are responsible for doing everything in their power to to sell the property. I mean, if it doesn't sell, it doesn't sell if the seller takes it off the market, the seller takes it off the market. Lance Pendleton: So let's play this out for a second. This is very good, is how we get to the idea of saying no and setting healthy rules, boundaries and limitations. Right? Correct. You have a property that you've gone, you've taken as a listing. You found out in the basement. They're hoarders and there's all kinds of stuff in there, and it's horrible. And you've said in order for us to best sell this house, this needs to be cleared out. And they said, okay, we'll get to it. Fast forward a week. They didn't get to it. You said, hey, we really need to be cleaning this out. I can help you. And they say, oh, sure, sure. We'll get on that sometime soon. And they don't. Now what? Lucy Edwards: Well, now it is my responsibility to explain what's going to happen if the House is going. If the house is staying in the same condition. Okay, so. Lance Pendleton: You explain to them, listen, we might lose value or potential sellers if that isn't cleaned up. And they said, okay, we understand that. We'll get to that eventually. Now what. Lucy Edwards: Then? And in this case, I offer them some professional help. Um, someone. Lance Pendleton: Like psychiatric. Lucy Edwards: Leading, like. Lance Pendleton: Psychiatric help. Lucy Edwards: That probably should be number one. But number two would be someone who will come with the dumpster and clean the basement. So that should. Well, obviously they can say, no, I don't want to spend any money. And that's too expensive. Lance Pendleton: So so they said no and they don't want to spend any money. And they just keep saying we'll get to it. It's not really that priority for us. Lucy Edwards: Then then I do what I as an agent, then I would do what I can do to sell it as is. And I will explain that the reason it's 20% less, uh, for the first offer, it's because the house is not presentable. Lance Pendleton: Okay, so here's the very first thing that I think, and I love this discussion with you, because I think that your take on this is very much aligned with thousands and thousands and thousands of agents across the country. Here's the first thing that I'm going to explain. You ready? We can't care more than they do. You cannot care more than someone else does. That is us transferring our feelings into something else that we then take on as our responsibility. Either physically or emotionally. And that's the first major problem that completely creates toxicity, not only in the relationship, but in our own health and our own lives and our interpersonal lives and how we engage with people. Because here's the fascinating part, Lucy. It is by nature that epidemic that I am talking about that devalues who we are and what we do by this belief mechanism that exists, that we are responsible for selling somebody's house, and we're responsible for convincing them of something that they don't really care about. If you've got tchotchkes everywhere and you like your tchotchkes everywhere, and I've made the statement that, you know what, maybe a younger buyer might not love the tchotchkes everywhere. And you say, oh, okay, well, maybe I'll get to that. And you don't. I'm not responsible for coming in and reorganizing and sorting all your tchotchkes. Why? Because I can't care more than you do, and also because my job was to be a consultant and advisor, an educator and an advocate, not the help. Lucy Edwards: I agree and disagree. So I agree that yes, you are not responsible and you cannot care more than they care because they're the ones who need to sell the house. You don't. You already have your house and and you and you sold it if you wanted to. However, and I will bring it as an example. My niece and her husband, when they were selling the house, um, and they have a lot of family photos everywhere. You know, all these little jesuses are everywhere. All the kids they're from. You gotta have. Lance Pendleton: All the little jesuses. Yeah. Lucy Edwards: Right. Everywhere. Um, and when when the agent showed up, the first thing they said. We're going to clean it out. We're going to clean your place. We're going to remove everything. We're going to bring our pillows. We're going to bring our pictures for the walls. And they were especially the husband. They were not happy. They were not happy that their house was like that, actually, thank God for only ten days, because they sold it for over the asking price. In ten days. They brought the stager, they they fixed the place up, they rearranged, and the place is nice. Don't take me wrong. You know, it's in great shape. It's nice, it's clean. It's just very distracting. So my point is they did that. They maybe didn't wash the floors, but they brought the stager and they brought whoever they were supposed to. And the house got sold in 10 in 10 days. It's a positive thing that my niece agreed to to do that, and she allowed them to basically redo the whole, the whole house and, and, you know, good for her that she that they did it. However, they were not happy. They were not happy about it. And for ten days they were complaining and complaining and complaining, right? Lance Pendleton: Right. How many referrals has she gotten from them? Lucy Edwards: Oh, you mean the agent from my niece? Yeah, quite a few. First of all, she bought the house through them in another town. Lance Pendleton: No no no, no. That couple. Lucy Edwards: Oh. The couple? Lance Pendleton: Yeah. Have they referred that agent a lot? Lucy Edwards: Yes. They did. Absolutely. Okay. Lance Pendleton: And so here's my magic question. Did they say yes? Please do this for us. Lucy Edwards: No. But the agent came and suggested that that has to be done regardless. Lance Pendleton: And those people said what? Lucy Edwards: They said yes, eventually. Lance Pendleton: So already that's not what we're talking about. For me, in that process. What? I'm. Yeah, but. Lucy Edwards: They were saying about it. The agent talked them into it. Lance Pendleton: Right. But what I'm talking about is, again, not taking on responsibilities of things that we then believe are our responsibilities, because you can't care more than someone else does. If someone in that scenario would like to have their tchotchkes everywhere and their tiny jesuses, that's fine. I can explain that to them, but at a certain point and just hear me out at a certain point. Yes, it's nice to be able to come in and bring in somebody that can help reorganize things to make it look better. Of course, fresh paint would be really fantastic, but at a certain point, if people have made the decision that that is not important to them, I can't lose sleep. Waking up at two in the morning, frothing at the mouth because these people aren't doing what I think they should be doing, which is what happens to so many agents. They get mired in this, ruminating around what people aren't doing that they should be doing, and then they come into a fear cycle. And the fear cycle happens when the client has said, you know what? Um, we were going to put it on. But now you know what? We've decided we're not going to put it on for two months. And what happens? Agents internalize that. I should have done this. I should have done that, I didn't. They start what we call shitting all over themselves. I should have been doing this, and I should have been doing that. And I. And the problem with that is no, you shouldn't have. We can't care more than they do. Our job is to be consultants, advisors, advocates, and educators and present them with that information and then give them the chance to do what they want to do. Lucy Edwards: Educators. And that's why they have the. That's why the way I see the agents should educate the seller in this case. Uh, educate. And it has to be, you know, constant dialogue where they educate and they ask questions, let the seller reply that they're not going to remove any, uh, tchotchkes. Okay. If you're not going to do that, the potential buyer is going to stare at your tchotchkes for half an hour and wouldn't even notice that you have a powder room on the first floor. So it is important. So the education is extremely important. And I see and I met and I know a lot of agents who focus on that education and maybe not at the first meeting, but the second or the third. They get through the head and there and then, you know, the transformation is there, right? Lance Pendleton: But the question is, are they the one carrying all this furniture up and down the stairs and doing all the moving and putting it all together? I'm just throwing it out there as a concept. Right. Because I think too many agents get overly involved in things. And one of the best things that you can say, here's a free tip there are things that we shouldn't be doing, like making beds and doing things. I know I get it, but here's what you can point out to people. Guess what? Your info doesn't cover deep pooping a lawn and making beds because your info doesn't cover and you're not insured for anything that happens in that home. So we forget that and we forget that should something happen, should something go wrong, we're on the hook for that. Because why? Those are not actions typical to a real estate function. They're not part of a transaction. They're not part of protections. And how I've written anything, they're not part of any of that stuff. So yet again, I'm not saying we should never do things. I'm just saying that when we get to a spot, the first place that we learn the health of balance in our real estate business and practice is by understanding that one, we can't care more than they do. And two, when you begin to work with people setting early boundaries upfront and often is the healthiest way to help somebody understand. Lance Pendleton: So I'll give you an example. I have a communication and working together document and that communication and working together document I give to all buyers and all sellers right at the beginning of our relationship. And it helps them understand how do we best communicate. It spells out what each type of communication is for what you would email me for, what you'd text me for, what you'd call me for, and it also spells out how long you should expect it will take me to get back to you based on those three forms of communication. It also explains when I'm available and when I'm not available. It also explains that if there's an emergency, what should they do and how do they handle that process? And last but not least, and in my humble opinion, most importantly, it explains certain concepts like showings, because what it explains in the showings is that three planets must align in perfect harmony in order for you to go see a home. It is my schedule, your schedule, and that other homeowners schedule. And if all three planets don't align, we're not going to go see it. So when you call me and say, I want to go see that in an hour, guess what? Lucy Edwards: Well, it all depends. Lance Pendleton: It depends on what? Lucy Edwards: Well, first of all, it depends on your schedule. It also depends on the homeowner schedule so that you know that that's common sense in my opinion. Lance Pendleton: What's common sense? Lucy Edwards: Um, when someone calls me and says that I would like to see the property, I would like to see this particular property in one hour. Lance Pendleton: Right. Lucy Edwards: I cannot say of course you will. Lance Pendleton: I'm not saying you'd say, of course you will. But do they realize that that is a very slim chance that that's going to be a possibility. Lucy Edwards: Absolutely. First of all. Lance Pendleton: Do you think consumers are used to the idea that if they go, I want to go see this in an hour the most agents. Oh, sure. Okay. Let me get on that right now for you. Lucy Edwards: Well, they shouldn't promise, first of all, because they don't know if the house is available unless it's totally vacant and I am available. And that. And that also means that I will get there in an hour. Maybe I am two hours away at this moment. Lance Pendleton: So what if that document, though, said right up front? What if that document said right up front that my showing schedule is Tuesday and Wednesdays between 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. and Saturday from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. those are the times that I do and take people out on tours, and that if you want to see anything outside of those hours, by all means please let me know. I have a showing agent that would be more than happy to take you out during those times. Lucy Edwards: You can do that. I don't think it's necessary to tell you the truth. What if I am available on Wednesday at 6 p.m.? They are available and so is the seller. Why not? Lance Pendleton: Well, that's Wednesday. 6 p.m. would be between 3 p.m. and 8 p.m.. That would be normal. Well. Lucy Edwards: On Tuesday, all week, all we can put, we can have that. Lance Pendleton: Wait wait wait wait wait. This is good. Stay with me on this because I think this is what agents want to hear from you about. Right? So I just said, so you're saying. But what if we're all available outside of the times that I set. Lucy Edwards: So if, if, if I am available and if it's possible, I can always do my best to show you the property at the times outside of my schedule. If it's possible. Lance Pendleton: Why? Lucy Edwards: Why not? Lance Pendleton: Because when do you get the rest of your work done? When do you actually pick up and drop off the kids at school? When do you actually sit and do your marketing plan? When do you have time to focus on, again your business plan, which we all do at the end of the year because we don't have important business planning, is in real estate to actually work on those things. Lucy Edwards: No, no. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't have that document. I think the document is I think it's an amazing document that you are putting together lends my my, uh, what I would like to add to the document. If it's possible, I will do my best to accommodate you. So why not? Why not add that? I mean, if it is possible and if it's convenient for everybody, right? Lance Pendleton: But what's the expectation. Lucy Edwards: That I will do my best? But I don't have to. Lance Pendleton: No, you didn't say. I don't have to. You said I'll do my best to accommodate you. Lucy Edwards: Yeah, I'll do my best. But if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Lance Pendleton: So in that situation, who's disappointed if it doesn't work out? Lucy Edwards: The the seller. But I can explain why it's not possible. Lance Pendleton: First of all, I guarantee you, I guarantee you, Lucy, the agent is also disappointed in that time because they're terrified that they're disappointing that person because they're letting them down, because they want to go see this and they feel guilty about it. That's why you don't actually do that, because it sets up a very vicious shame cycle that shouldn't. It's just not necessary. Lucy Edwards: I still don't feel like why not try? I mean, if if it is possible for you. If it's if I know that I have to I have a soccer game with my kids and I. There is no way I will do it on Tuesday at 6:00. Then right away when they say I would like to see it on Tuesday at 6:00, I will say I'm very sorry I'm not available, I'm already booked. Or if I have an assistant I can offer an assistant, but if I don't and if I am a solo, then I'll just say I'm very sorry so I wouldn't even try my best. Lance Pendleton: However, even if you're a solo, though, there are companies out there that provide agents for showings. It's very inexpensive. Lucy Edwards: That is true, but a lot of agents, as far as I know, my agents that I work with, they prefer to either do it themselves, or they do it with agents in their office, or someone they trust, or someone they know. They wouldn't just give the appointment to a company who would do the showing, so they will arrange it if they can. And there are a lot of agents who cover for each other. Lance Pendleton: Okay, so the Johnson family is your client. There? The buyers they've been looking for for months now. They keep going out and looking above their price point. They keep giving you last minute requests to go see stuff. They keep, you know, they're not going anywhere anytime soon. You're still going to accommodate them or you're going to give them to that showing agent to go. Let them go. Look at whatever they want to for the 438th time. Lucy Edwards: Well, I'm not sure. Honestly, I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. Lance Pendleton: So this is why it's such an interesting conversation. Because again, one of the biggest problems that exists is that there's nothing set up front that states, here's rules, boundaries and limitations. Do I think those have to be fixed permanently? No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, though, is helping somebody understand the boundaries around how you operate as a professional is essential to you. Then having quality of life, quality of life is immediately diminished the minute you reset the expectations for somebody. So if I tell somebody I'm not available on Tuesdays, I'm not available on Tuesdays, I'm not available on Tuesdays. Oh, you want to go see that? Lance Pendleton: Well, you know. Lance Pendleton: We could do it this Tuesday. What did I just teach them? Lance Pendleton: You see. Lance Pendleton: Lucy, the most fascinating thing about human beings is we teach people how to treat us. And so much of what happens in real estate agent life, it all comes from this place of fear, because we're terrified that if we don't go out and tell that person, whatever you need, whatever you want, what do you want? What do you need? I'm here. Whatever you need. If we don't take that path, we're going to lose them. Yet. It's just not true. Lucy Edwards: And and I get it. I get exactly what you are saying and the expectations is it's important. Um, I guess the majority of agents, just like you said yourself, are. Let me do it for you. Let me help you. Right, I will, I will kill myself. That's good. But you're gonna get that Tuesday at 6:00. Lance Pendleton: Great. Why? So why? Why do the majority of agents take that stance? Let me do it for you. Why? Lucy Edwards: Because they do not want to, like you said, disappoint the client. They want to sell the house. They still hope that that will be this magic property that the buyer will go for. Um, if it's way overpriced or if it's totally not for them, I will try to talk them out of it, because we just saw another five properties that are 20% overpriced for for their budget. So we we shouldn't really do it. But if they insist, I just don't see if I can if I don't have the soccer game, if the seller is willing to show, I just don't see why. Why not, uh, why not accommodate if you can, if you're not going to kill yourself? Lance Pendleton: But I want to go back to the question that you just posed, though. Why do agents immediately slide into the mode of I'll do it for you. Lucy Edwards: To please the client? Why, that's that's very because they the agent feels that they represent that customer, and they want to do everything in their power to make it a smooth transaction to make them and like you, you, you you talk about it all the time. Why do they want to make them happy? Maybe they that's what they enjoy doing. That's the feedback that they have. They they made someone happy. What if that is the transaction that will take place and close and that is the house they fall in love with, and they'll find the 20% for down payment. Um, and they just want to please the customer and they feel good about it, even if the house is not the right property. But they did everything possible to show it, they feel that, well, at least I did everything I possibly could for you. And that also builds the relationship that should be appreciated by the buyer. That I jumped through hoops to show you that that that house and now you, you know. So you disagree with me. Lance Pendleton: I don't disagree, I know what I, what I want to focus back on though is again the why behind they go to these extreme lengths of something. Lucy Edwards: They want to make them happy. They want to. They want to feel good also. Lance Pendleton: Sure, but I think it's more complicated than that. You see, you just said they will immediately shift into this mode of whatever you need from me, right? Let me do it. I'll do it. Let me do it. Right. Okay. Here's why I believe this. And this is from many, many years of studying this, being in it and working with many agents and a lot of consumers. I believe that, yes, in part it is what you said. Agents don't like disappointing people. Remember, behavioral and psychologically, there's an element to a lot of agents where they don't like disappointing people. And so by default they internalize that. And it's very painful. And I get that that's a part of it. But it's also the exact same reason that that little part of them cringes on the inside when someone asks them, what do you do for a living? It is the exact same reason. And here's why. Because they are so pre-programmed by the industry to do what? Show value. Show your value. Do you have value? Have you shown your value? You have to show your value. Did you send something? Lucy, if you send something, it has to have value. Does have value. You know what? We're coming up on the new year. It's January. Show your value. Get all those people their year end tax statements for their properties. Show your value. Check back in with them. Show your. Did you show value? The listing presentation. Lance Pendleton: You have a listing presentation. Did you show your value in it? You see, when you tell somebody over and over and over again, you have to show value. Did you show value? You have to show value. Guess what? You're subconsciously telling them you have no value. That's what happens. And that's why agents run around bending over backwards, taking over price listings and doing whatever it is that you want me to make the bed. I'll make the bed. You may poop the lawn or poop the lawn. You want me to come in and fluff the pillows? I'll fluff the pillows. Why? Because at their core, they don't actually believe that what they're doing has value to it. And honest to God, Hard. That's why there's such fear around compensation. That's why there's such this, this gross sense of I have to do all of these things to to demonstrate to you that I deserve your love, that I deserve that commission, that I deserve this. And my whole thing is name me another industry where a professional consultant, a top line professional consultant runs around in panic mode, freaking out about doing a whole bunch of stuff that is pretty much not related to what they do whatsoever, because they're terrified that they didn't just demonstrate to the client that they have this immaculate value. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, and it's all based on fear. Lucy Edwards: Yeah, yeah. And just like when you were talking about legal advice or whatever else, or if the plumber shows up, they're not going to move your furniture around. They're just going to take care of your plumbing issues. Yeah, exactly. Lance Pendleton: It's like, you know, oh, I got to make sure that they, you know, see my value because, you know, as you said, for the plumber, I also bake brownies while I was there after I fixed the plumbing. Like it doesn't. It's so stupid. And again, it's because there's an internal mechanism for us that we don't have this course. So how do we bring this full circle? Well, the first thing, Lucy, for me is we've got to learn to say no. No is a complete sentence. When you put a period at the end of it. And the most important thing that we can focus on is that saying no to certain things is okay. There's nothing wrong with a client saying, hey, while we're away, can you go collect the mail and feed the dog and blah blah blah blah blah? No. Why? Because unfortunately, my errors and omissions does not legally protect me doing those things in your home. What I can do is I can work to find somebody who is licensed, secured and bonded to come in and do those things on your behalf if you like. And I'm not paying for either, by the way, but you can be somebody that can help expedite problems with someone else doing it. I don't need to be the person doing all of that. Lance Pendleton: So learning to say no with a solution. That doesn't make me part of the solution, in that sense is a very important first step. And the second thing is really, we've got to get better at establishing the fact that our value has nothing to do with actual value. It's about differentiation. If I can demonstrate points of differentiation that aren't being the help, then that is the very first step to actually delivering on something. So whether it's, you know, the implementation of things we've talked about in past cool technology, stuff like that, whatever it might be, there's points of differentiation that justify us as consultants, educators, advocates and advisors. And it starts with learning to be able to create better balance in your life, to have a framework of establishing those things upfront in a healthy way. Because, believe it or not, behavioral psychology 101 people feel more confident and secure when you give them the roadmap and how to engage with you right up front than you trying to explain it to them once you've already started the journey. So with that, Lucy. I will learn better how to say no to when you call me at 2:00 in the morning demanding. I'm just kidding. I just totally made that up. Lucy didn't call me at 2:00 in the morning. Lucy Edwards: No, I get it. And I agree with you. It's. And our podcast is for the 10% of realtors, not for the 90. When I talk about picking up poop and making beds, that's probably 90% of realtors. But. But it is 90% of realtors. Lance Pendleton: You'd be surprised. Lance Pendleton: Well, it's been a fantastic conversation, which I always appreciate. And I love the fact that you were willing to kind of go back and forth with me and walk through some of these things, because, again, it's how we've all been brought up in the business, and it's got to change. Why? Because it's not what consumers really want and need. So best thing for us to be is we get consumed by more of what consumers want is to really understand that saying no and setting boundaries is a healthy thing to do that really makes them happy and drives up what your long term success and the health of relationships. Lucy Edwards: Agreed. Thank you. Lance. Lance Pendleton: Thank you.